Small Town Bar Hopping
I love going out at night in Ashland. I love it more than going out in a bigger city, more than in another country, more than going out in Medford, where my friends always beg me to go. I don’t have a regular Monday thru Friday kind of job, so I end up going out many different nights of the week. I like them all. It’s not that I love to drink, or eat pizza after midnight, or dance, what I love is constantly running into the same people.
Some people, like the friends who want to go out in Medford, are always looking for new faces and a new crowd. I love going out with my friends and having people to sit and chat with, but I also love seeing all the same people, out at the same places week after week after week. Many of these people are people I’ve never had a conversation with, but with a flicker of eye contact there’s the acknowledgement that you’ve seen each other before. It’s the three Cs of living in a small town, community, comfort, and continuity.
I always shop at the same places. I do my Christmas shopping at the same handful of shops every year, do my grocery shopping at the same place, and get my prescriptions filled at the same pharmacy year after year. I like running into people I know. I like catching up with family friends and old elementary school teachers while I wait in line to buy my eggs.
People I know from bigger cities complain sometimes about the awkwardness of running into an ex when going out on the weekends. To me it’s just a part of dating. You shouldn’t start dating someone unless you’re willing to see them again several times a week after you’ve broken up. I believe people from small towns are able to feel more comfortable and less awkward in situations like this. I just watched a Sex in the City episode where one of the girls ran down the street to avoid running into her ex-boyfriend. In Ashland you would never witness a scene like that. When I go out on the weekend, or weekdays as it may be, I run into ex-boyfriends. I also run into people from church, customers from my work and my boss. Instead of fleeing down the sidewalk in a dead sprint, small town folk learn to take the high road, in this case a smile and a wave.
I know many Ashland transplants who feel a sense of shock at their sudden loss of anonymity upon moving to Ashland. My aunt and uncle moved from Los Angeles to Napa and complained that every time they go out they see someone they know. To me Napa is a bustling metropolitan center. I would complain if I went out and didn’t see anyone I know. Of course in high school I complained about it. I joked that you couldn’t smoke a cigarette downtown without your mother finding out about it before you got home. Of course I had my share of high school escapades, but even now I think my parents probably, secretly, really know everything I did.
Living in a small town means I can’t walk to church even if I wanted to – someone always drives by to offer a ride. It means if fall short by a couple bucks in the grocery store there’ll be someone there to help me out. In a small town I can introduce myself to the new neighbors and ask to borrow their stuff all in one conversation.
When I go out this weekend I fully expect to see several ex-boyfriends, a couple co-workers and maybe a couple of my old teachers. I know I’ll see a couple of my parents friends and people I went to elementary school with. I also know I’ll see people that I don’t know, but feel like I do. The guy who always wears the funny pants, the skinny girl in the high heels, the amazing dancer and the man with the diamonique stud earring. Seeing all the same people at the same places makes me feel happy and comfortable. The three Cs of small town living leads to a sense of safety and happiness, a feeling I wouldn’t have going out anywhere else in the world.
Some people, like the friends who want to go out in Medford, are always looking for new faces and a new crowd. I love going out with my friends and having people to sit and chat with, but I also love seeing all the same people, out at the same places week after week after week. Many of these people are people I’ve never had a conversation with, but with a flicker of eye contact there’s the acknowledgement that you’ve seen each other before. It’s the three Cs of living in a small town, community, comfort, and continuity.
I always shop at the same places. I do my Christmas shopping at the same handful of shops every year, do my grocery shopping at the same place, and get my prescriptions filled at the same pharmacy year after year. I like running into people I know. I like catching up with family friends and old elementary school teachers while I wait in line to buy my eggs.
People I know from bigger cities complain sometimes about the awkwardness of running into an ex when going out on the weekends. To me it’s just a part of dating. You shouldn’t start dating someone unless you’re willing to see them again several times a week after you’ve broken up. I believe people from small towns are able to feel more comfortable and less awkward in situations like this. I just watched a Sex in the City episode where one of the girls ran down the street to avoid running into her ex-boyfriend. In Ashland you would never witness a scene like that. When I go out on the weekend, or weekdays as it may be, I run into ex-boyfriends. I also run into people from church, customers from my work and my boss. Instead of fleeing down the sidewalk in a dead sprint, small town folk learn to take the high road, in this case a smile and a wave.
I know many Ashland transplants who feel a sense of shock at their sudden loss of anonymity upon moving to Ashland. My aunt and uncle moved from Los Angeles to Napa and complained that every time they go out they see someone they know. To me Napa is a bustling metropolitan center. I would complain if I went out and didn’t see anyone I know. Of course in high school I complained about it. I joked that you couldn’t smoke a cigarette downtown without your mother finding out about it before you got home. Of course I had my share of high school escapades, but even now I think my parents probably, secretly, really know everything I did.
Living in a small town means I can’t walk to church even if I wanted to – someone always drives by to offer a ride. It means if fall short by a couple bucks in the grocery store there’ll be someone there to help me out. In a small town I can introduce myself to the new neighbors and ask to borrow their stuff all in one conversation.
When I go out this weekend I fully expect to see several ex-boyfriends, a couple co-workers and maybe a couple of my old teachers. I know I’ll see a couple of my parents friends and people I went to elementary school with. I also know I’ll see people that I don’t know, but feel like I do. The guy who always wears the funny pants, the skinny girl in the high heels, the amazing dancer and the man with the diamonique stud earring. Seeing all the same people at the same places makes me feel happy and comfortable. The three Cs of small town living leads to a sense of safety and happiness, a feeling I wouldn’t have going out anywhere else in the world.
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